Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Dreaming....

I read Elizabeth Waterstraat's blog this morning and a paragraph in her post hit home:


Within weeks of giving birth, I was already dreaming. Of where I wanted to go athletically. Starting over. Where would the story end? You always write your own ending. Mine ended in Hawaii. Why? Dream big. And a very hormonal, post-partum girl can dream, right? Someone told me, the year after pregnancy go big. You’ll need something wow to motivate you, something big to make the sacrifices worth it, something out there that seems so impossible that you, as a driven athlete, will be compelled to work hard to make it possible.


While I do not have any athletic dreams of Hawaii, I had visions of that blue and yelllow finish line on Boylston Street. I had crossed that line four times already, but I really wanted it in 2011, mainly to prove to myself that I could do it.

I ran 3:54 this past April, and I am slightly ashamed to admit that I was a little dissapointed in myself. I know many would love to run a sub 4 marathon, but I ran 3:36 last year and knew that I am capable of more. But that day, I honestly gave everything that I had.

So now, I dream big. I have a fall marathon on the schedule, and I am working with Mary to lay the base to run a solid marathon this fall. I love running right now. Just love it! But, I need a few other building blocks to achieve my goals.

In order to do this, I need to be more accountable to myself. I love running, but I have been sorely slacking in other areas. Since returning to work, I have not been to hot yoga, and its absence is hurting both my flexibility and core strength. It is true that I have little time to get there, but I need to find the time. I am certain that my little butt injury that sidelined me for three weeks was an indirect result of this. Even if it is JUST once a week, it will help!

I also need to clean up my eating. I am constantly craving SUGAR lately. It is so bad! But, I know that this crazy craving is not helping me lose those last pounds. In order to be fast this fall, I need to be a bit leaner and also need to give my body more nutrients.

So there it is, my plan to get to October. Let the dreaming begin!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Commitment

 

Since the marathon ended, I have struggled with my running goals.  Finishing the marathon in one piece so soon after having Jack was the end goal.  Unlike previous years, I knew I could not place time pressures on myself as my training season was so abbreviated.  Post-marathon, I was excited for training, continued on with Mary, and then promptly injured myself doing nothing. Three weeks later, I ran the Harpoon race with my awesome husband, and I devoted myself back to my plan.  Mary has me doing lots of small but specific speed work intervals, and it is hard!  I have not done any real speed work since a year ago, and with the increased temperatures in Boston, I can feel them.

This shift in training requires a new perspective on my part, one that is a bit scary.  The pressure is on, and I have committed myself to it.  No longer can I blame the whole baby thing, because now it is 4 months later.  I am at the point where if I want to improve, I need to commit to doing those workouts that will make me stronger and faster.

It makes me anxious.  Although my next big race is not until an October marathon, I have lots of little races that I hope to feel confident at the start line.  I would love to PR at the Hingham Road Race (which in reality should be easy seeing that the course has been shortened from 4.6 to 4.5!).  But, at the same point, I am not quite where I need to be do that. 

The real struggle comes from how I am being a total wuss at times.  I am still learning to balance the  working mom thing, and I let myself off easy because of this.  The reality is that it was MUCH easier to train when I was on maternity leave.   Then I read some other ladies’ blogs and get a little bit of envy.  She has more kids than I do and is faster!  That one is a mom and works full time and is an Ironwoman. I only have to train about 6 hours a week- what am I complaining about!!!!

Totally a struggle to balance- I want to improve REALLY badly, but I am uncertain whether I am placing too high of expectations on myself too soon…..

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I have had some FUN with running lately.  I ran the Foxboro 5K with Liz and  some other lovely bloggers.  I need to do more social races like this- thanks for a great morning, ladies!