I trained so hard for this race. And, I did not deliver the results that I know I can achieve.
Now that I have started the blog post on that ominous note, here is the bright side.
I was stressed, I was sick and I did not quit. I have never wanted to quit a race so badly at various points, but I never did!
My bad karma started the day before the race. A few months ago, I put my IPod shuffle through the washer and dryer. It may have been clean, but it was broken. As a treat to myself, I decided to splurge and buy a new shuffle. After charging it, loading it with songs, I tested it. AND IT DID NOT WORK! I normally do not run a marathon with music, but this course is small and does not provide the entertainment of the big city, so I thought I might need it.
I moved on, went to bed fully NUUN hydrated, and woke up at 4AM and puked.
What? I just got myself back to sleep thinking it was a fluke.
I woke up at 5 AM, fed myself, the dog, the baby and the husband and then we all loaded in the car headed to Lowell. We arrived exactly 22 minutes before the start. I needed to pee and get in the corral, but first we needed to move my crew to the start. I am practically in tears and on the edge as I am stressed by this. But, my husband was here to support me so I did not want to take it out on him.
I make it to the start with a few minutes to spare and the gun goes off.
Mile 1: 7:59
Perfect for what my goal is
Mile 2: 7:49
Mile 3: 7:45
Mile 4: 7:51
Mile 5: 7:50
Mile 6: 7:56
Does anyone see where this is headed?
Mile 7: 8:01
(Here, we headed across a very wobbly bridge- it reminded me of running in a bouncy house)
I saw there was a water stop coming so I took my GU.
Mile 8: 8:22
Here is when I threw up the GU because the water stop was tiny and I missed getting any liquid. In retrospect, I should have turned around for it. But, this is how I learn.
Mile 9: 8:16
Trying to get my head back in the game
Mile 10: 8:07
Mile 11: 8:23
Mile 12: 8:22
Mile 13: 8:50
My husband told me he would find me near the half, and I never found him. Mentally, I was demoralized and also demoralized that I had to run another loop. (It was a double loop course.) I totally wanted to quit here.
Mile 14: 8:47
Mile 15: 8:30
Mile 16: 9:08
Mile 17: 8:57
Mile 18: 9:37
Mile 19: 9:14
Mile 20: 9:06
Mile 21: 9:41
Mile 22: 9:44
And during this mile, I threw up again. A lot! But, I actually did not want to quit because I was running on some random state highway in Lowell. I just wanted to be done!
Mile 23: 10:19
Mile 24: 11:26
Mile 25: 10:28
Mile 26: 9:48
Mile 26.38- 3:53
Needless to day, I am still super disappointed with my race results. I went out a few seconds too fast at the beginning, but I really truly believe that I trained to run a much faster race. For heavens sake, I only ran one minute slower at Boston when I had just had the baby less than 3 months before!
However, I cannot change that I was sick. I am unsure if I had a virus, or if it was stress, or what it was. I have no idea.
This splits are definitely up there with how not to pace a marathon (or any race), but I assure you that I had trained to rock the race. I worked so hard all summer. Like my friend said, some days we have runs where it all clicks. Other runs just feel miserable. I just happened to chance upon the latter. I worked for every minute of the race and worked so hard to not quit. That I am proud of!
I have lots of other thoughts….. but I think I need to process them a little bit more. They may involve the morning I had before the race- not relaxing.