Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Commitment

 

Since the marathon ended, I have struggled with my running goals.  Finishing the marathon in one piece so soon after having Jack was the end goal.  Unlike previous years, I knew I could not place time pressures on myself as my training season was so abbreviated.  Post-marathon, I was excited for training, continued on with Mary, and then promptly injured myself doing nothing. Three weeks later, I ran the Harpoon race with my awesome husband, and I devoted myself back to my plan.  Mary has me doing lots of small but specific speed work intervals, and it is hard!  I have not done any real speed work since a year ago, and with the increased temperatures in Boston, I can feel them.

This shift in training requires a new perspective on my part, one that is a bit scary.  The pressure is on, and I have committed myself to it.  No longer can I blame the whole baby thing, because now it is 4 months later.  I am at the point where if I want to improve, I need to commit to doing those workouts that will make me stronger and faster.

It makes me anxious.  Although my next big race is not until an October marathon, I have lots of little races that I hope to feel confident at the start line.  I would love to PR at the Hingham Road Race (which in reality should be easy seeing that the course has been shortened from 4.6 to 4.5!).  But, at the same point, I am not quite where I need to be do that. 

The real struggle comes from how I am being a total wuss at times.  I am still learning to balance the  working mom thing, and I let myself off easy because of this.  The reality is that it was MUCH easier to train when I was on maternity leave.   Then I read some other ladies’ blogs and get a little bit of envy.  She has more kids than I do and is faster!  That one is a mom and works full time and is an Ironwoman. I only have to train about 6 hours a week- what am I complaining about!!!!

Totally a struggle to balance- I want to improve REALLY badly, but I am uncertain whether I am placing too high of expectations on myself too soon…..

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I have had some FUN with running lately.  I ran the Foxboro 5K with Liz and  some other lovely bloggers.  I need to do more social races like this- thanks for a great morning, ladies!

4 comments:

  1. Oh Adrienne I can hear myself in your words and all I can say is breathe and know that you will get there. When my daughter was born I was so determined to get back that I beat myself up when I missed workouts and felt awful about what I was calling laziness. Your little one is still so little and you are doing the best you can! I know this won't happen to you but I pushed myself so hard that I ended up severely injuring my back and having to be taken out on a stretcher from the gym! Above the physical stuff, mentally becoming a mom is tough even with the easiest kids. You WILL get there and be fast and strong again...give yourself the grace to find how it all fits in as a mom!

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  2. Nancy, thanks for that nice comment- totally made my day!

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  3. Yes, lets do more 5ks. That was so fun!!!

    You are doing so amazing for having a baby such a short time ago, you should really be proud of yourself. I am!

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  4. You are not a wuss at all!! Balancing it all is difficult and my philosophy is that balance looks different for every woman and from day to day things can change too. Be patient! And sometimes enjoying motherhood is more important than anything else! Don't miss out on these moments. Running will always be there. (but I admit, there are times I read blogs and my Daily Mile feed and wonder why I can't perform like others do!)

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