Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Lately, I have been wracked with worry and apprehension. Thank goodness I decided to resume running shortly after having Jack; I can only imagine what the state of my mind might be in if I had not. The running is good right now; not great, but good and I am okay with that. I get a little stronger each week, and following a plan is good for me.
However, within two weeks, I return to work. There is no plan unfortunately for me to follow here. I realize that I am not the first woman to face this situation, but since it is the first time I have to deal with it, it is a BIG deal for me. I truthfully like my job and enjoy the company of those I work with each day. I am grateful for this. But, thinking about returning and the logistics of it all cause me to cringe. My whole day right now is consumed by taking care of Jack and trying to keep our little home life in order, and I drive myself crazy thinking about how I will do it all once I am out of the house everyday from 7-6. And, find the time to work out and run as well!
Needless to say, I am freaking out already about how I will keep it all together once I am back to work. I know that I need to breathe and go with the flow, and realize that although it will not be easy, I will manage. I need to have a little more confidence in it. I just wish there was some type of training plan to prepare me for those first few months.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Every expectant mother is told horror stories about labor and delivery by well meaning women. However, no one really shared with me how difficult the first few weeks of recovery are on the body. I am not sure of what I expected, but I was certainly naive in thinking that I would bounce back quickly.
My fitness has been coming along slowly but surely in the six weeks since I arrived home with Jack from the hospital. Many in my life have commented to me that I am so good and so lucky to be able to do so much at this point. Like Jenn, these comments make me cringe a bit, even though I politely smile and say thank you. I have worked so hard over the past few weeks with the help of Mary. It is not luck and it is not because I am good. Rather, it is a result of working out up until the day before my water broke and then working with a coach to rebuild my base fitness. There are definitely times that I would rather sleep or snuggle my little baby, but I know that for the sake of my sanity, I need to embrace the fitness wagon.
Needless to say, it has been frustrating to see how slower miles were hard though I certainly have improved in the six weeks. Yet, I seemed to still be stuck lately in the 9 minute range, and I was hoping for a breakthrough.
Last week, I could not get Sally Meyerhoff out of my head. In her last blogpost before her sad and unexpected death, she wrote, “Things are going very well and I couldn't be happier. I can tell my fitness improves weekly, which feels nice, ha! My run fitness is not where I want it to be right now but A is giving me great workouts that test me and improve my strength.”
She also wrote, “I cannot express how HAPPY I am with where I am in my life right now though, and how grateful I feel for being able to do what I do. I just wouldn't trade it for anything and any time I am feeling not very motivated, I think about how miserable I feel when I am not training or doing something else I don't LOVE. I totally and completely love this life I'm living and the most fabulous thing is that I know it's only going to get 20 times better by the end of the year.” As I look at my little Jack sleep in my lap as I write this post, these words really hit home.
So sad. RIP Sally…. her words were resonating with me as I reflected on my own state and my goals for this year.
With Sally in mind, I tackled my workouts for the rest of the week. Luckily, we are beginning to see glimpses of spring in New England. I was able to run in my running skirt on both Saturday and Sunday. (Sally was a BIG fan of the running skirt and though I did not know her, I wanted to pay my own little tribute to her.) And no, my white legs were not what boosted my confidence. My runs were actually both great this weekend; Sally was clearly inspiring me as I traveled along the roads.
Saturday’s run was short, just 35 minutes on the schedule. I wore the Garmin but covered it up so that I could just run by feel, knowing where the 2 mile turnaround was and figuring I would be a few minutes over 35 once I returned. What a nice surprise it was to see that I was right at 35 once I returned home- 8:30s felt like a big victory.
I woke on Sunday morning and headed to L St. My best running friend Leann agree to run with me, and I told her I wanted to hit 9s, feeling bad I as know this is slow for her. We were running a bit fast, but I did not feel as if I was trashing myself. I spent the first 9 miles of the 15 mile run worried that I was going to blow up- could I hold onto this pace? Why did it feel good? Somehow, I did, and we finished 15 miles in about 2:08. This run was a huge improvement from last week. I arrived at Sunday night feeling a world better about where my running is and where my fitness is post-baby.
For the rest of marathon training, until April 18th (thanks Liz- how did I mess up the day of the marathon in my last post?), Sally will inspire me. I want to be grateful for this opportunity, to be totally in love with the life that I am living. With all the small things that happen in daily life, it is easy to lose track of this big picture. I need to place that in front of me and use it as my focal point.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
I have not posted in a very long time, but I have read all of your blogs religiously. It is very hard to write an entire post while nursing Baby Jack. However, blogs bring me countless hours of entertainment while I undergo countless hours of nursing. I think of many, many things to blog about during this time and then forget about them. I am only able to blog right now as my parents are here and ogling over him.
Jack is almost 7 weeks old. Yikes! I am going back to work on April 4th. Bigger yikes! Boston is on April 19th- biggest yikes!
My running continues to be the fourth love of my life, after the husband, the baby and the puppy. Honestly, I don’t know how people follow the postpartum directives to not workout for 6 weeks post delivery. Our bodies were meant to move, and exercise is such a relief and a break from what life has become. I realize that I am not a medical expert, and that I worked out until the day before my water broke. But, for me, breaking that rule has been the right decision.
I realize that I run way too much at the gym and on the treadmill. I have a serious, serious infatuation with the treadmill, so much so that I should probably not be called a runner. Runners like the outdoors and so forth. I like a moving belt and watching the captions on tv. I even ignored my crying baby when I had 5 more minutes to go on the treadmill- mother of the year I know. Seeing that the Boston Marathon will not be run on a treadmill, and that our New England weather is a bit more bearable, I have been making an effort to run outdoors. Shhh… don’t tell the treadmill, but I enjoyed every one of those runs.
Sunday’s long run was awesome- 16 miles outdoors and in capris and a long sleeve. I ran through Hull, Hingham and Cohasset. If anyone is local, consider doing the Cohasset by the Sea 10K. It is a tough course but the scenery is so very worth it. I loved the run, until I realized how dehydrated I was and bonked at mile 13. And there was no store to buy water…. and I was stupid for only bringing one bottle of Poland Springs with me. I just slowed down, realized my mistake and got home.
People watching at the gym is the BEST. Maybe that reason number 54 is why I love the treadmill as well. When I walked into the gym the other day, a girl walked about and IMMEDIATELY lit up a cigarette! What???? I guess she was at the gym at least. And, I love the muscle head men walking on the treadmills. And, the old ladies with their SPARKLY tops walking on the treadmills (because I tend to go at times of days when they are out). I guess I should wonder why so many people at my gym are walking…..
My mother wants to leave and thus not let me blog anymore…. Well, see you when I convince her to take care of him the next time….