Sunday, April 18, 2010

Promises to Myself

Today is marathon eve. Despite the fact that tomorrow will be my sixth marathon, I still have a tremendous amount of nervous energy right now. My coping mechanism is unavailable, as no workouts are on the agenda so that the legs can rest. To replace it, my frenziness is directed toward my house and preparation for tomorrow. My Gus are packed,my number is pinned on me shirt and yes, it is only 10:30AM here in Boston. I even took down the shower curtain to wash it. I feel that if I can get the nest in order, it will be one less thing to fret about.

I think I am most nervous right now, because 2008 and 2009 were the tale of two marathons. I think I am more in 2009 shape, but who knows what tomorrow will bring? This anxiety is the one that gets to me most.

I hated running after my disaster of a race in 2008. If we were friends on facebook, I would have unfriended it. I was never more disappointed in it or myself. It took a year to rebuild my oonfidence and to rediscover the joy that it brings to me.

With all these emotions swirling today, I thought it was good practice to make few promises to myself and to write them down. This way, no matter what happens to me tomorrow, I have firm sight on what my goals are.

I promise that I will enjoy tomorrow. I have worked hard to run a marathon. I naled my 22 and 20 milers along the course. I have earned the privilege of running in the Boston Marathon and I will not disrespect this by hating the experience.

I will be kind to myself no matter what the outcome. I have had a tough medical year that have caused crazy emotional blows. However, they have given me strength. If I have the power to get through these, I can get past a time, that in my head, seems like a "bad" race time.

I will remember that there is no bad racetime. This will be my last marathon for awhile. I need to enjoy the experience and savor every second.

These are my promises to myself. If I don't keep them, I am only disappointing myself. So, it is up to me to follow through on them.

1 comment:

  1. Adrienne, Good Luck. You will have a great race--you deserve a great race! I will be tracking you! Definitely have fun... even on those hills. Soak it in. Even soak in the pain of the last 10K... it's all good. Good luck! :)